CHOKED!

I did not know what nervous was until today.

Sure, I have given public speeches before, but that was a kind of nervous I knew how to channel and control. This afternoon, I walked on to those tennis courts and it dawned on me, "holy cow, I am at sectionals." It was nervousness and anxiety at an entirely different level, a level I never knew existed, and did not know how to handle.

I could not get anything right. I played tentatively and I'd sink it into the net, then I would try to adjust but it would fly out. I tried everything. I was so tight and mechanical. I never found my rhythm. My doubles partner told me afterward that she had never seen me like that before. She did not know what to do because she did not recognize who was playing next to her. It was horrible. I was unable to focus and it was so frustrating!
That was my first appearance at sectionals. I truly can say that today was definitely an experience. I will be back at sectionals, and when that time comes, I will know what to expect.