Think You Have A Drinking Problem?

I heard the first step to overcoming addiction is to admit it. Well, here I am, my name is Cressida, and I am a coffee and caffeine addict.

It all started with a massive school project that demanded late nights; hence, the need for caffeine. Then Starbucks started their seasonal Peppermint Mocha and that drew me in further. Finals week came and I could not, and would not break free. It's been months of Peppermint White Chocolate Mocha goodness, and on occasion a diet soda; what can I say, I am only human.

Determined to clean my desk and pull out all remnants of the school semester, I took a good look at what crowded my area the most. It was not books or notes, nor index cards or highlighters, it was the Grande cups and soda cans. Yes, now I see my problem. For years, I have tried very hard not to get addicted to coffee - drinking it only when necessary. However, this time, I was exposed to the drug for a much longer period, and now having trouble wanting to shake it off.

I still refuse to become one of those people who need a cup of coffee in the morning in order to function; therefore, I will break this habit! That is, after Starbucks pulls their peppermint line off their menu.

Finding Serenity in the Midst of Finals

With my last final exam three hours away, I decided to stay on campus to eat lunch before a last run through my marketing notes. As I headed towards the student union, I was pained with the thought of having to push through a hungry crowd, stand in long lines, and stalk students leaving their tables so that I would not have to use my quick-numbing lap to eat off of. Just thinking of all this trouble, especially the inevitable charlie horse, made me regret staying on campus.

As the automatic doors slid open, the cafeteria was unusually bare. I guess being that it's finals week, the students are more dispersed. I decided to eat outside, given the sunny, mid-December, California weather. There is a patio area, hidden by trees, that is my favorite place on this campus. It is a rectangular cavity in front of the union building. The only way in is by a set of stairs to the left of the building entrance. As you descend, it feels as if you are entering a different world. The air is completely void of school and its pressures. Granted you are surrounded by students; but, there seems to be a silent agreement not to bring your school cares with you. Everyone is so calm, it makes the entire area like a little piece of heaven amongst all hell.

One towering wall is covered with hanging plants; on the other side is a gradual slope of earth full of ground plants and trees. The sun peeks through; but, the trees shade me. A single, late-blooming flower on the wall welcomes me to my seat. The gentle speakers whisper classical music. I sit back, look around, and relax; appreciative of the rare moments that come at the most opportune time.

Bring it On!

It's the eve of finals week and I am going to kick ass! Let's go baby!

Freshman 10; more like Finals 10

There's a saying that freshmen gain an average of 10 pounds during their first semester in college - The Freshman 10, or in my case, The Finals 10.

My schedule has been really off this past month. I have been eating dinner late, sleeping at dawn, and drinking a TON of coffee! I can definitely understand where my extra weight is coming from.

Stop the madness! Let's get these finals over and done with before I gain back all the weight I've lost.

ELFED!

My uncle, Java, and I have been Elfed!

F@&%

Excuse the profanity; but, DAMMIT! It's 5 AM and I have spent hours writing this "group" project getting it to 9 pages. I just reread the instructions and it includes two words that is the source of my rage: DOUBLE-SPACED. ARGH! It's my own fault really; but, I refuse to blame myself. If the rest of the group helped me out with this, one was bound to have noticed the fine print! Now I have to cut out and edit this paper!

I'll never get to sleep :(

Office Space

Funny.

When I started my job, I was joking around with my co-workers about how messy their desks were; work just kept on piling on and on and on. I've been at this job for a little over a year now, and I realized this morning that I have not seen my "desk" in months! I mentioned this to the same co-workers I was making fun of (jokingly) earlier, "poor thing" they both said.

Who's laughing now?

Stage Name

Did you guys know that Michael Keaton's real name is Michael Douglas? Since there was already a Michael Douglas in the business, he changed his name. I thought that was an interesting tid bit.

The Tie That Felt Like a Win

There were deuces in every game. Down love-2, then 2-2, then 3-3, down again 3-5. It was my serve and got to 4-5, broke my opponent's serve and made it to 5-5. At this point, all the other matches were done and finished. It's been well over an hour and we are still on our first set. Up 6-5, my opponent held her serve to tie it up to 6-6.

Tie breaker is first to 7, win by two. I was down again 4-6, our team mates were watching which made both of us even more nervous. Broke both her serves to reach 6-6. Two set points saved! A long rally came next, a backhand volley winner gave me a set point. I felt so much pressure, really surprised what happened next: ACE! 8-6. First set cleared after nearly two hours of play!

The second set was also filled with deuces; but, unlike the first set, I was unable to convert any game points - losing the second set 1-6. Sad? I don't think so. The score does not say much but that second set also ran long - 50 minutes.

All in all, my team won. I found out later that our first set was actually the deciding set for the team. Phew! Glad I was able to close that one out :)

It's been a really hard day today; but, this was just what I needed. A long, grueling, almost 3-hour battle that ended as a personal tie, but an overall team win.

Goes to show that team greatness is just as sweet as personal greatness.

I feel much better now :)

Sudoku

Just when I thought it may be another jinxed day - after my traffic ticket and another botched chai tea, I somehow managed to finish a Sudoku puzzle in 15 minutes! I am not very good at it; so, I consider 15 minutes to be pretty good - quite an accomplishment :)

Not bad. Let's see how I do with tonight's tennis match.

Another Ticket

In Salt Lake City, a school zone is marked with flashing lights - observed only when lights are flashing; so, when I was passing a school this morning, I was looking for the flashing lights. When I did not see any lights, I proceeded with the regular speed limit - 40.

I guess it's different here in Orange County; since, I explained my whole flashing lights scenario and he just looked at me like I was crazy. I'm not crazy! I'm just from Salt Lake City (hehe)! Apparently, school zones are observed whenever children are present - that includes weekends when school is not even in session.

That's my 2nd traffic ticket in 2 months (first ticket)! I don't understand it at all. My insurance will increase for sure! I have to go to traffic school to get my first ticket cleared; but, since this second citation is within 18 months of a prior citation, I am not allowed to go to traffic school and prevent this from affecting my insurance.

What really gets me the most is that I was paying close attention. I saw the sign but thought I did not have to obey it since the flashing lights I have been accustomed to were missing. Can I use "recently moved" as a defense?

What am I going to do? I'm going to cry again.

The Ups and Downs of the Game

I have had a long relationship with tennis for years. For the most part, it gives me hope and brings me joy. Then, there are times when it becomes the source of my frustration. Just a few days ago, I played some really good tennis - my hard work and practice really showed! Then, today - I BOMBED! My serves were not going in, my slices were coming up too short, my balls kept going out! All in all, it seemed as if I did not even know how to play! Anyone would've guessed it was my first time out on the tennis court!

I read this quote a long time ago and took it to heart: You play only as good as you practice. But what happens on off days? I refuse to accept that after all my practicing, the result and reward was that of today. Embarrassing! Unacceptable! What do we tell ourselves at times like these? What if this imbalance lasts longer than one day? Do we keep practicing? Are we just hanging on to false hope if we keep playing? Pretend the off day never happened?

Why can't there just be ups and no downs? Downs really bring me down! I hate downs! Then again, if this is down, then I have no where else to go but up.

Guess ups would not feel as rewarding until you realize you worked yourself up from a down. Question is, when is my up going to happen?

The Ticket

I got my ticket in the mail today - the one from the jinxed day. Failure to make a complete stop IN THE UNIVERSITY PARKING GARAGE! Guess how much? NO! You'll never guess! Want to know? Here it comes, prepare yourself and take a seat... $202!!!! And if I don't want my insurance to be affected, I have to go to traffic school! Bunch of control hungry jerks! I have never gotten a ticket in my life! Don't I deserve a warning?! Egotistical maniacs! Mother freaking cow!!! Aargh! What college student can afford a $202 ticket! Seriously! It was not even out on the real road! Despicable, callous, cruel, ticket pusher!!! Dammit! I remember what the cop said too " I am sure if you were a pedestrian, you'd appreciate the cars who'd stop for you." THERE WAS NO PEDESTRIAN IN SIGHT! No other vehicles for that matter. Did he honestly think I would run over a person? Trust me, if I were to commit such a tort, it would not be in such a high traffic area, also at night, where there would be little to no witnesses. Hmmm, wonder if I can locate a police officer through Google...

SQUISHED!

I have no particular interest in mosquitoes; I simply have not seen one in a while.

This particular mosquito was on my bedroom wall. Just there, looking huge and ready to draw blood.

It did not even flinch when I took it's picture. I thought, maybe he's too full to fly away.

"He did not bite me..."

I look around...

[GASP] JAVA!

How dare this mosquito feed on my precious!

Anger infused me. Curiosity was instantly replaced with the desire for vengeance.

The result...

A squished mosquito.










What does PETA have to say about that?


Eh, I can justify my kill as saving the lives of potential avian flu victims.

A Breath of Fresh Air

Reaching the lobby floor, I got out of the elevator. There was a young man eager to board, as well as a woman fiddling with the contents of her purse, unaware that her ride up has arrived.

Instead of rushing in and hogging the elevator for himself, the young man held the door open and got the attention of the woman by asking, "Ma'am, are you going up?"

It warmed my heart watching such a chivalrous gesture. It was the kindest thing I've witnessed in days.

18 hrs to 2 hrs

A week ago, I averaged 18 hrs of sleep per night (sick, remember?). Last night, I only had 2 hours of sleep.

I've been through this before - the late nights doing homework. The difference is, I plan for them; for example, finals week. I am aware of the load of work and am prepared to get very little rest. Last night, however, was not planned - this is why I am filled with fury. I simply got screwed!

The culprits? 3 out of 5 of my marketing project groupmates. It was agreed the week before that they would get all their assigned parts in to me two days ago to work on and integrate. It was the night before the project draft was due; I called, I e-mailed, I called again, and no response.

We have all been through this before. You all know the story...people don't do the work, and the rest get SCREWED!

GRRR! ARGH! BAH!

[SIGH]

I am going to bed.

Time Did Not Stop for Me

I took my first steps outside today; seeing the sun for the first time in 72 hours. I felt the warmth of the sun graze my skin as I was welcomed back into society.

My life was put on hold for 3 days; time continued. I got up thinking, wishing it was Sunday afternoon; but, in reality it was Wednesday. 3 days had passed me by, and I was helpless against all of it.

This was not the first incident that time left me behind. 2 years ago, life paused.

2 years ago...

Hmm. 2 years, that's an improvement. Realizing how much my life has actually changed, now I should focus on how much time has actually gone by without pausing my life.

A newfound confidence; liberated from fear.

Dear Time,

Don't stop for me. I will catch up.
I always have.
I always will.

Kim Bap

I made Kim Bap today!!! Kim Bap is Korean sushi :) I put in spinach, carrots, radish, egg, fish cake, ham, and imitation crab.

The Irony

So I participated in a walk to benefit Lupus...Now, I think I am having a Lupus flare from it.

Walk for Lupus

It was a perfect day for a walk: the ocean scene was set, the sun was hidden, and the early morning chill lingered. The Slowly but Surely Team was ready. In one week's time, we had raised over $1,000! The only thing left was to conquer the 5K walk and finalize our commitment.

We were given a choice between a 1 mile route and a 3 mile route, we chose the latter. We were warned of inclines, we did not even notice. When we crossed the finish line, we thought "that was it?" A relatively easy walk for all three humans on the team; our canine mascot had the most challenge, slowly but surely edging his way up the last hill. Java did not stop or complain one bit, he was all smiles and determined to finish in support of all lupus patients.

After the walk, Tito Buddy treated us all to a congratulatory lunch - Greek food on 2nd street.

It was a very good day.